The Nature of Addiction

Addiction is something that every human is capable of. Many of us have experienced addiction, be it to drugs, gambling, overeating... The human brain has the capacity to become dependant on any substance or action.

There is a blur here between addiction and obsession and some would argue that obsession is reserved for actions or preoccupations that the sufferer enjoys. 'Sufferer enjoys', I like that. Anyway, you get the idea, you try telling the kid that switches the light on and off 10 times otherwise his family will perish in a bizarre and freaky accident he's actually enjoying himself. Well, he's not, I know because that kid was me. Thats right, I'm one step away from being a fully fledged obsessive compulsive. Some of these traits still haunt me today, like the time I thought I would tidy up the cables is my makeshift home studio. 3 hours later I was very pleased with myself wires running in the same direction all neatly tied with twine. I'm tempted to draw you a fucking diagram, thats how messed up I am. This whole story is pointless by the way, all my music recordings from that point forward had awful background hum, all that work for nothing...

Addiction is something altogether more powerful, it very often ruins lives but this entire post is dedicated to those who beat an addiction. Those who find the strength within themselves to realise that their actions aren't determined by some prewritten genetic code. 'My father/mother was an alcoholic so that explains why I am...'. No, you are answerable to yourself and yourself alone. Remember that before you take the next drink, the next hit or the next slice of deep pan super supreme with stuffed crust and chicken dippers....

Fuck me, I'm starving...

Welcome to my blog

"We would see hope in our last day

Inside this dying world

For there is still beauty

Inside this dying world"

- Wrath Upon Ourselves by As I Lay Dying

Welcome one and all to my blog, I thought this would be a good place to vent my frustrations & joys with those who care enough to read them...

Today I had the displeasure of having to deal with the underground staff re my recently unresponsive Oyster card. I've had it only 2 weeks and it has stopped working, so I requested another one from the failed Oyster card division (yes, thats right, they've got a whole division!).

Two weeks, they said. Two weeks?! I said.

Indeed it would be a long two weeks. Braving the cold mornings without the reassuring 'beep' of the Oyster, missing that green light, that shines just for you. My 18+ student photocard gone, my world upturned I somehow summoned the strength to persevere.

Behind the plexiglass prison of the ticket office 'Dave' stared into emptiness and got the same feeling he got when he looked inside himself. He was one slight personality defect away from violently erupting, ripping his swively stool away from the floor, proceeding to pound its jagged metallic feet into the transparent walls of his cell. But no. Another day perhaps.

Dave took pleasure in telling me I had to buy all my train tickets in the interim, a whole 2 weeks. However, I would only be compensated for 70% of the tickets due to the 30% discount I receive as a student. Can you work that one out? No, me neither... So this is what I have discovered, or at least been made aware of, that the Oyster card fail so often they need a whole department to deal with the problems. They leave you hanging for 2 weeks meanwhile earning a nice profit from the tickets you buy while you wait. That pisses me off...